


that's (not) my name, don't wear it out (please do)

by pockethans



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, I cant believe thats an actual tag, M/M, Prompt Fic, kuroo is a drama king and i love him, tsukki keeps messing up kuroo's name, wait yes i can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 22:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15616776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pockethans/pseuds/pockethans
Summary: "Mocha for... Kuro… sawa-san?”--In which Tsukishima Kei is a barista who seems to enjoy fucking with a certain black-haired boy, and all Kuroo Tetsurou wants is his coffee and said barista's number.





	that's (not) my name, don't wear it out (please do)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OHSQUASH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OHSQUASH/gifts).



> so this was requested by my wonderful friend noot, who asked for a kurootsuki cafe au where tsukishima purposefully messes up kuroo's name, and despite 1) having never written hq before and 2) being more of a tsukiyama shipper than a kurootsuki one, i still decided to write this because honestly, how could i resist?? this idea was too awesome to decline
> 
> i had so much fun writing this!! i know noot + a bunch of others have already read this, as i wrote it a few days ago, but i only just decided to post it here! this may be gifted to him, but really, its dedicated to all the awesome people in the "move im gay" discord server! thank you, especially to the ones who helped me get back into the groove of writing!
> 
> mobile seems to suck, apparently, because i cant seem to add tags unless they already exist, so ill be adding more tags once i get access to a computer, which should be later today! (edit: added more tags! i forgot like 95% of the tags i wanted to add so i might be adding more later as i think of them jsdlkfj) i hope you enjoy reading <3 kuroo is a drama king and i love him sksksk
> 
> rated t for profanity!

“Can I get a large dark chocolate mocha, please?”

Tetsurou watches as the blonde cashier tilts his head slightly at that, as if he’s not entirely sure if he had just heard his order correctly. _Tsukishima Kei_ , the name tag reads, and Tetsurou supposes that kind of a name suits the man in front of him. A pretty name for a pretty boy; he makes a mental note to try one of his new pick up lines (that are _not_ lame, thank you, Keiji) on Kei before he leaves the cafe.

“Is that all?” Kei drawls, and Tetsurou grins confidently, opening his mouth, ready to reply with a _“I’d like your number too”,_ when the cashier continues, “And no, you can’t have my number.”

The black haired man scoffs. He isn’t _that_ easy to read, is he? He knows if Keiji or Koutarou were here, they’d probably insist that _yes, he is very readable_ , but his lame friends (more like _bullies_ ) are  _not_ here, so thus, the answer to that question is a _no, he is not easy to read._  

Shrugging, Tetsurou acts as if Kei hadn’t just seen through him and ruined his “master plan”. He stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets and breathes out a flat, simple, “yeah.”

Kei raises a single eyebrow and peers at him from over his glasses, and that’s nothing Tetsurou hasn’t seen before. He _knows_ he’s got the wild hair and the “mildly atrocious” (Keiji’s words, not his) fashion style (“ _and the wildly good looks,” Tetsurou says with a smirk and an eyebrow wiggle, to which Kenma, who’s sitting off to the side from the group, intently focusing on the game he’s playing on his, pipes up with a “not really.”)._

He knows he’s a bit all over the place, both appearance and personality wise, but _why_ , oh _WHY,_ must everyone assume that his coffee orders are as crazy as his appearance? Hadn’t everyone been taught to not judge a book by its cover?!

Tetsurou sighs, suddenly feeling more tired than usual, and he could _really go for a coffee right now, which is what he’s trying to order-_

Kei looks oddly pleased, as if he can hear every thought running around in Tetsurou’s head, and Tetsurou has a feeling that this _bitch_ just might be able to.

 _Hey! If you’re reading my mind right now, get the fuck out! This is invasion of my privacy!!_ Tetsurou mentally shouts, all while furrowing his eyes and glaring intently at the barista. Kei lets out a low chuckle, and he grabs a large cup and a sharpie, profusely ignoring the intense gaze Tetsurou is giving him, and the black-haired man is not at _all_ amused by this.

“That’ll be $4.56.” And Tetsurou is forced to put a brief pause on his one-sided staring contest to pay. “Name for the order?”

“Name’s Kuroo.” He says with a grin, and he leans his weight against the counter, placing his hands on the counter, palm down. “But you can call me _yours_ .” He finishes with a smug grin and a wink, and he can practically _hear_ Keiji’s facepalm and Koutarou’s wheezing laughter.

Kei offers no reaction apart from a small snort (man, this boy really knew how to grind his gears) and he scrawls something down on the cup as a short, brunette man with splashes of freckles along the bridge of his nose swings by to take the cup.

However, Kei shakes his head and holds it above the shorter man. Pouting, he opens his mouth to speak, but the taller one quickly cuts him off.

“Man the register, Yamaguchi.” And then he’s off to the coffee machine to make Tetsurou’s order, leaving the two to stand there awkwardly, Yamaguchi flushed and confused, and Tetsurou still leaning on the counter.

After a few seconds of silence between him and the barista, despite the cafe being rather noisy, Tetsurou shrugs and simply walks away from the cash register. The movement seems to snap Yamaguchi out of whatever stupor he had been in, and Tetsurou watches over his shoulder as the brunette greets the next customer.

Several minutes, a hundred or so texts, and a few roasts from his _goddamn “friends”_ later, Tetsurou sees Kei walk over to the counter, holding what he hopes to be is his mocha because he’s way too caffeine-deprived to deal with a ridiculously pretty yet snarky barista and his proclaimed friends who didn’t even _support him_ , which is what he thought friends were supposed to do.

“Dark chocolate mocha for-” Kei pauses, tilting his head to the cup to read the name on there. Then, he makes immediate eye contact with Tetsurou and _why is he smirking-_ “-Yours.”

Tetsurou pinches the bridge of his nose, _he really should’ve seen that coming,_ and gets up with a dramatic sigh. He practically stomps over to the counter, yanks the cup out of Kei’s hand (carefully, though, because there’s no way he’s spilling any of his precious drink), throws one last glare at Kei’s stupidly handsome face and his stupidly _stupid_ smirk, and leaves the cafe with an unspoken promise to never return, despite the fact that their drinks were actually quite good and _damn that barista for being a jerk who can also make good mochas._

* * *

 

Contrary to the “unspoken vow” he had made, Tetsurou finds himself back at the same coffee shop that might as well be the bane of his very existence not even a week later. He hopes and prays to every single deity out there that Kei isn’t on shift, then he puffs out his chest confidently and strides in through the door.

A short, ginger-haired boy is at the register this time ( _thank goodness!!_ Tetsurou throws a grateful grin at the ceiling that probably earns him a couple weird glances, but he doesn’t really mind) and he makes his way to the boy. As soon as the ginger spots him, he breaks out into a grin, and Tetsurou swears he’s staring at the sun.

“Welcome! May I take your order?” He says, eyes sparkling with obvious cheerfulness, and Tetsurou’s eyes drag down to the name tag. _Hinata Shouyou._

“Large dark chocolate mocha, please.” Tetsurou replies, because he’s the sort of person who always orders the same thing (“Loser!” Koutarou shouts, and Tetsurou flips him off without hesitation). Shouyou pauses, briefly, lips turning down slightly and eyes flicking up from the register to stare at Tetsurou in mild disbelief, but then the smile in back on his face and Tetsurou would accuse him of fake-smiling if it weren’t for the fact that it was too blinding to be fake.

“Coming right up! Anything else?” And after he replies with a no, pays, and gives his name, Shouyou’s handing the cup off to a boy with silvery gray hair and warm brown eyes, alerting him that it’ll only be a few minutes, and promptly shooing him off so that he can take care of the next person in line.

Tetsurou passes the time playing Flappy Bird, which he, apparently, sucks at, because he can’t make it past 10 and he’s on the verge of snapping his phone in half out of pure anger and pettiness when he hears a voice calling out a dark chocolate mocha.

A chillingly familiar voice.

And he looks up at the counter to see _Tsukishima Kei,_ looking right back at him with a grin that could only be described as devilish, especially when compared to Shouyou’s sunshine smile. Tetsurou feels his heart _literally_ stop and his insides are _actually_ melting and he’s apparently so dramatic that _Keiji_ can sense it from his apartment, a few miles away, because his phone suddenly vibrates with a text from his friend saying _“I can feel your bullshit from here. Stop that.”_

Kei’s smirk turns even more wicked, how that’s possible, he isn’t sure, and he reads the name on the cup. “Mocha for... Kuro… sawa-san?” He says, tilting his head innocently as if he hadn’t deliberately messed it up.

Tetsurou, once again, stomps up to the counter, prepared to snatch the drink up and bolt on out of the cafe, but Kei doesn’t seem to be done with him yet. As soon as Tetsurou has his hand on the cup, the blonde drones.

“Nice to see you again, Kurosawa.”

Tetsurou scowls and forcibly tugs the beverage out of Kei’s hands. He turns to leave, and he doesn’t need to be looking at Kei to know that he’s trying to contain a laugh.

* * *

 

Only when he’s halfway through his drink and back in the comfort of his home does he notice the scribbled writing underneath his name (that _clearly_ says “Kuroo”, like, how do you mess up that _badly,_ you jerk.)

 _I didn’t think you’d be back, Kurpo._ (Tetsurou almost stops reading at that, did he seriously have to mess up his name _again?_ He knows third time's the charm, but c’mon-) _You seem interesting. I guess I’ll humor you for a bit. x-xxx-xxx-xxxx_

And if a feeling of warmth blossoms in Tetsurou’s chest, and a small smile graces his face, well, that’s nobody’s business.

* * *

 

The number turns out to be the wrong one, (“Of _course_ it is!”, he had wailed to Keiji, who didn’t offer even a glance of sympathy as Tetsurou leaned on his shoulder dramatically) but if anything, it only made Tetsurou more determined to win Kei over.

Needless to say, his wallet was starting to feel the price ( _hah_ , Tetsurou snorts) of going to the cafe weekly to buy an overly-priced-yet-very-delicious mocha, but when he gets to see Kei’s smirking face ( _beautifully stupid_ smirking face, he might add), he can’t even bring himself to complain.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! i hope you liked it! ive been taking prompts from my friends to write drabbles and oneshots so i can try to get my inspiration back, and ive already written a couple others, besides this one. im contemplating posting the others on ao3 as well, but im not entirely sure yet! if i do, then ill probably make a series for it. hope you enjoyed this ♡


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